Third Wedding Anniversary Reflections – FROM THE HUSBAND!
Happy TUESDAY, everyone! Today, my cutie husband is going to be taking over the blog in honor of it being our THIRD wedding anniversary today. I like to include him every now and then because he’s way more popular than I am. #imarriedup We don’t need a long introduction for this one – he says everything we need to hear below. Let’s just get right into it:
Hello Blonde and Ambitialorettes,
This is Adam, Tay’s husband, lucky man, collector of mismatched socks, host of Unboxings with Adam and avid dog whisperer. Tay asked me to write a post for our third wedding anniversary a couple months ago, so like any good man, I’m doing it two days before it is due. I am not great at getting personal, I tend to internalize and keep my emotions to myself, but I think this will be good for all of us. Enjoy!
It seems like whenever Tay and I have a big milestone coming up, we have pretty big life events that seem to happen at the same time to test us. About a week after I told her that I loved her almost 4 years ago, I had a fun case of appendicitis. We had only been dating for three months but Taylor took on the responsibility of calling my family and informing them that I was sick. Naturally, she was pretty nervous to do it, because 1. she had never spoken to my family before 2. it was like 11 o’clock at night and 3. She was calling to tell my mom that I was in surgery and getting my appendix taken out. I don’t know how that conversation went because I was really high, but she did it without hesitation. She also stayed with me all night even though she had college classes the next day and her own list of things to do.
Last year, a couple days before our 2nd wedding anniversary, we found out that my father, who had Lou Gehrig’s disease was unresponsive and would be in the hospital for the last time. To throw a cherry on top, I had just gotten my wisdom teeth out about two hours before we got the news and was once again very high (seems to be a theme here). The day after my father passed was our wedding anniversary, and as you can imagine, I wasn’t initially in the mood to celebrate our anniversary. However, we still took a large portion of the day to be with each other and find our own way to mark the occasion. I celebrated with a very large chocolate peanut butter protein smoothie from Smoothie king since I still couldn’t eat solids, and I took Taylor to get her nails done and get her some Panera Bread. We walked around the little shopping mall and just talked. At these milestones I like to reflect back and talk with her about some of our shared experiences together, or discuss what led us to each other in the first place, to gain some perspective and to also just remember some of the many amazing memories I have had with this woman. It sounds cheesy and it probably is, but I feel like that kind of reflection is good for couples. It’s important to remember what you have been through so you can see what you are capable of and also have motivation to move forward to the next big thing.
Our next big thing is in about three months. We will be welcoming a little boy into this big world. I don’t know what to expect, but I do know that between the two of us we can figure it out. This little guy is going to be a big test, he’s going to take our sleep, our peace and quiet, and probably some of my hair, but he’s going to be the second love of my life. Now, I am not going to be sharing “lessons” because I feel uncomfortable lecturing about something I am no expert at – so instead I will share 3 random thoughts that stand out to me and hopefully they will add up to something in the end.
Thought 1: Change is an opportunity
Change has been the one constant in our lives since we met. For example, Tay was a biochemistry major who wanted to be a veterinarian when we met. We now know that she still loves biochemistry, but her career has dramatically changed. She does marketing workshops for small businesses, and runs Blonde and Ambitious Blog. I’m her first and best fan, but it was a big change and step for us. She started blogging in our last semester of school, and just fell in love with it. It was a large investment, a huge change, but also a big opportunity. The changes we have experienced together have always been opportunities. I haven’t always been steady on my career path, either – and we both have grown and changed together throughout it all. The important thing is to grow together, not apart.
Thought 2: All you need really is love
Today, (it’s taken me two days to write this post and now I’m really down to the wire) I was at work for over 12 hours. I left so exhausted having spent the full day hustling and grinding. I walk out of work, I call my wife, she’s kind of having a blah day. It’s cool, I take it as a challenge to cheer her up. I forget about myself and my own struggles and I just try to make my wife get silly with me as I drive home. Love is our mutual motivator, the discipline that keeps us from giving up and it is rewarding work. Sometimes you don’t need grand gestures or something gigantic to show someone you care about them. Sometimes it’s just getting silly together at the end of a long day.
Thought 3: Communication is a key
We’re coming full circle now. In the beginning, I told you I internalize and many times keep my emotions to myself for fear of what Tay might say if I tell her what I’m truly thinking sometimes. It causes me to have anxiety which only makes things worse – but I am learning to overcome that and just share what I have on my mind. I had one of those moments last night where I shared some things I was worrying about with her, and she just listened. She didn’t try to solve all my problems – she just listened and loved me and tried to help me work through my own thoughts. Couples don’t always have to have the answers for one another. A lot of times, it’s just being there together to listen and let each other know that you have each other’s backs, always. Open communication is always best.
I don’t know what I did to deserve her. She makes me feel feelings. Since day one she has seen past my weaknesses and seen my potential. Whatever man I eventually become will be because of her. She makes me want to be the best dad, husband, son and human I can possibly be.
Ok, brb, crying all of the emotional tears (it does NOT help that I am six months pregnant now SOS). I love this guy. He’s truly my favorite person and teammate in life. I couldn’t have picked a better spouse for me. THANK YOU, babe, for sharing your thoughts with the whole B&A fam!
What is your advice for us going into our third year of marriage?! Leave it down below!