Happy FRI-YAYYYYYY. I’m so happy that it’s the end of the week (aka one week closer to NYFW with my blogging bestie, Erica). My kittens are still getting along SO well, and my heart is SO happy. Today’s post is one I’ve been sitting on for a while because it’s so important to me and my hubby. I wanted to make sure I did it total justice. 🙂 AnyWHO let’s dive into why it’s important to make couple friends and how you can do it, too.
So. I have always had a circle of tight nit friends. In high school, I had my very best friend Chelsea (you can read about her and our friendship here) and our other great friend Jordan. We were three peas in a pod and I loved it. I loved having a close group of girls to confide in. In college, I also had an awesome friend group, and we were friends all through college together.
Once Adam and I got married, however, it got a little harder to maintain friendships. Not even because of us, either! It turns out, single people don’t really love being the third wheel in a friendship. It wasn’t super difficult in college, because we already had a bunch of couples we enjoyed hanging out with, but after we graduated and moved away, it was pretty much only my parents that we hung out with. LOL (love you mom and dad).
As I work from home, and there aren’t many couples where A works, we had to look outside our jobs to find couples we wanted to befriend.
Here are my top tips to building friendships as a married couple:
Tip #1: Religion can often help.
If you are religious (we are), one way to make new friends is to meet them at church. You’re likely to find couples you really jive with this way, as you know you already share the same core values. It can ease some of that tension, and give you common ground to talk about in the beginning stages of a friendship.
Tip #2: Ask people yourselves.
Chances are, you’ll get to know other people in your job. While I work from home, I still go out with girls like my photographer every now and again. I already know I like her, so I figured it may be a good time to ask if she and her husband/boyfriend/SO would like to get together for a double date! If you aren’t the one asking, chances are nobody else is going to. Be prepared to open up a little bit and put yourself out on a limb.
Tip #3: Host a game night.
This is one of A and I’s favorite way to get to know people and have a fun night with friends. We just hosted our first game night last week and it was a total blast. Most people LOVE board games and it is the perfect way to break the ice and enjoy yourself with friendly competition and laughter. We always do it pot-luck style where everyone brings a dessert or appetizer and you have a bunch of yummy snacks to choose from! Invite neighbors, co-workers or acquaintances — you never know who may end up being the perfect “couple fit” for you and your SO.
Tip #4: Follow up but be cool about it.
You don’t want to seem desperate, so even if you had the best time ever, don’t immediately invite them over the next night. It’s literally like dating only four people have to get along instead of two. Be sure to send a nice follow up text the next day to let them know how much fun you had, and that you’d like to do it again sometime. That opens the door for more plans to be made in the future.
Tip #5: Volunteer for something.
This is actually a great way to meet people — and it’s similar to the church aspect in that you already have a commonality. You both are passionate about a certain cause, so it helps to bring the two couples together. It can make for a great base to start a friendship off on, and it will give you built-in activities to do together. Chances are, you’ll become closer than ever when you work on important projects as a group.
So now that you know HOW to make friends as an adult…why is it so important to maintain those friendships? Once you have your SO, why on earth would you need anyone else?
Ok, fair point, I definitely love A more than anyone else in the world. BUT. I still need other interaction, and so does he. Going out with another couple gives you more to chat about, and it is nice finding two people you can both get along with.
Not only is it just a good time in general, psychology says you need it, too. If you can find a couple that is going through the same life situations you are, even better. Another couple understands your need to bring your +1 around, and they appreciate it! You no longer have to choose between a girl’s night out or a night in with your sweetie, it’s all one in the same. That means more fun and entertainment and less stress over disappointing someone you love. You can spend time with your friends, and still nurture your relationship with your spouse.
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Have you gone through similar life changes with your SO, where you needed to branch out and make more friends as a couple? How did you cope with it? Let me know in the comments below!!