How To Beat The Comparison Game + Reconnect With YOU
HAPPY FRI-YAY, my sweet fam! I am so glad it’s the weekend. I have SO much to do before leaving for Charleston so I’m hopping on my productivity train and getting stuff DONE. One thing I’ve done recently that I feel like has REALLY helped me to be more productive and stay on task is to get an accountability partner. Mine is Chelsie from Hey There Chelsie and aside from being one of my best friends – she has been AMAZING at checking in with me several times a day, reminding me to send her my task list so she can help me stay on task. It’s been so nice having someone make sure that I am completely my to-do lists. Working at home is amazing but it also means that I can get easily distracted. #whoops. ANYWAYS. I was actually talking to Chelsie earlier this week and we both were really struggling with getting our heads in the right space to create content without comparing ourselves to everyone around us. It can be really hard to remember your worth in a creative business like this. Even outside of being a content creator – we all compare ourselves to other people every single day. They’re a better mom than me. A better friend. They’re prettier than I am. Smarter than I am. More confident than I am. Their house is cleaner. Their car is nice. The list is endless. It’s not productive and all it does is stunt your own growth. So how do we get back into a good head space to reconnect with who WE are and our worth? Let’s dive into this.
How To Beat The Comparison Game + Reconnect With YOU
A few weeks ago, I created a makeup look I was really proud of. I had worked hard to develop a new eyeshadow technique. It was far from perfect but it was something that I’d never done before. I posted it on my instastories and felt really excited. Then, I was scrolling through instagram and saw another makeup artist do a similar look … WAYYYYYY better than mine was. I’m talking it was a night and day difference. I immediately deleted my instastory before anyone saw it so that I didn’t have to be embarrassed if other people saw hers first. Think about that for a second. I allowed myself to compare my work to someone else’s and instantly discredited ALL of the work I’d done up to that point. WHY? Who cares if it wasn’t as beautiful as the other artists? It was mine. And I was proud of it. 99% of people would have looked at it and thought I did a great job. They never would have compared it to someone else’s. So why am I?
Comparison is a LIAR who says we will NEVER be good enough. If you constantly measure your own success through the lens of someone else, you will fall short every time.
Here are 9 ways to beat the comparison game and reconnect with YOU:
One: Celebrate your WINS, every time, no matter how small.
You don’t have to only celebrate your once-in-a-lifetime wins. You need to be celebrating your every-day-little wins. Whether it’s getting up and going to the gym every day, or answering all your emails before your work day is over, or wearing that dress you didn’t think you’d feel confident in on a date. It doesn’t matter what the win is. CELEBRATE IT! Treat yourself with a Starbucks, or a donut with sprinkles, or a trip to the Target dollar section. #treatyoself
Two: Fall out of love with perception and back into love with reality.
The idea that everyone around you has perfect lives that you just can’t compete with is, quite frankly, a big ol’ LIE. Quit sticking your perceptions onto other people’s lives. Contrary to popular belief, everyone is struggling with something. It may not be seen from the outside, but we are all just humans. You don’t the know the ins-and-outs of other people’s lives, and it’s not up to you to decide what they can and can’t have struggles with.
Three: Become comfortable with healthy competition – not comparison.
It’s great to have healthy competition. It sparks creativity and can really get your juices flowing to give your best work. But competition shouldn’t be comparison and learning the difference is really important. An office competition to raise money for charity is an awesome competition – feeling bad about yourself because you didn’t raise as much as Diane is comparison. Celebrate Diane for being amazing – just like you would want to be celebrated if you won!
Four: Celebrate the successes of those around you.
Speaking of celebrating the Diane’s in your life, celebrate the successes of those around you because when it’s your turn to be celebrated you don’t want to be standing all alone. If you are sour and negative and jealous, people won’t want to be excited and happy for you when it’s your turn. Be happy for those around you. It’s ok to be sad for you for a minute, but not forever.
Five: Shut down negative self-talk IMMEDIATELY and replace it with something positive.
This is important. THE SECOND you get a negative thought about yourself in your head you should be shutting. it. DOWN. Not only should you be shutting it out of your mind, you should be replacing it with something better. When you think, “I will never be as good at XYZ as Diane” flip it around to: “I am pretty good at XYZ and I know with practice I will get even better!” It sounds SUPER cheesy, but it actually works. Next time you think, “I hate the shape of my nose”, say “but I LOVE how much my eyes sparkle when I wear blue”.
If you constantly measure your own success through the lens of someone else, you will fall short every time.
Six: Try complimenting others instead of comparing yourself to them.
This goes right along with number five here. Instead of saying, “I’m not as good at XYZ as Diane is”, try saying “Diane is really talented at XYZ. I love how excited people get to watch her do her skill!” You should be rising people up, not tearing them down. All being negative does is bring you lower and stunt your ability to reach your full potential and there is ZERO room for that here.
Seven: Take a social media break and do something you LOVE.
Sometimes you need to take a break from social media. I took a break from my personal facebook feed for a while a little bit ago and it was really good for me. I realized how unhappy I got while I was scrolling through my feed, so I stopped looking at it. It made me a happier person doing that, so now I make a conscious effort not to spend copious amounts of time scrolling through my feed. Facebook doesn’t show me everyone on my friends list anyway so I have to keep in touch personally with the people I love. I like it better that way anyways.
Eight: Purge the people that don’t lift you up and make you feel like a better person.
Wanna know what’s awesome? You can let go of anyone in your life you don’t want to have there. It’s that easy. If someone is negative, or bringing you down, or generally harshing the vibe you are trying to create: let them go. Nobody wants to be around people like that. It’s a proven fact. Find people that celebrate your wins and make you a better and happier human. And then do the exact same for them (nobody likes a taker).
Nine: Take the self-love challenge to remind yourself how wonderful YOU are.
I posted this challenge quite a while ago – but it has stayed as one of my most pinned challenges EVER. It’s great for hitting the reset button and reminding yourself what a fabulous person you are. Taking time to love on yourself and be kind and patient with your own self is SO SO SO important.
PIN THIS FOR LATER:
It’s not always easy to get rid of comparisons for good. I know that. But these are some steps to help you remember why YOU are special and why YOU have value. Everyone brings something special and amazing to the table, no matter what table that is. Your friend group, your job, your marriage. It’s all the same. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
*PS: Please enjoy the incredible pictures Erin captured at the sunflower fields a few weeks ago. She is SO incredibly talented and genuinely one of my favorite people. Check out her website here.
Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others? How do you manage it? Let me know in the comments below!