How To Find Your Confidence (+ 20 Day Self-Love Challenge)

Happy FRI-YAY! I am so happy that it’s Friday. It was too cold this week for me to work out by the pool every day, but I did manage to go to yoga every single day! I’m trying to put myself and my mental + emotional health FIRST lately, because sometimes I forget to do that and I think a lot of people do, too. So, today I want to talk about how to find your confidence (and keep it) and inspire you to take a 20 day SELF-LOVE challenge. I know it isn’t the beginning of a new month, but I am a firm believer that it doesn’t have to be a new month to start something amazing for yourself. Let’s dive into it.

How To Find Your Confidence (+ 20 Day Self-Love Challenge)

How To Find Your Confidence

First things first: confidence. I’ve talked before about how silly it is that women seldom describe themselves as confident creatures (read that post here), but it’s been on my mind to talk about it again. Only this time, to give you a list of tried and true methods to find YOUR confidence and KEEP it.

Step One: Fake it ’til you make it.

Sometimes this is the best way to start a habit. The more you get into a routine, the more it’ll become real life. I know this because there have been SO many times that I didn’t feel NEARLY as confident as I came across. I have held my head high for so long, that I forget what it feels like to hang it down low. It’s a habit now. It takes 21 days to make a habit stay – so stick it out and see what happens.

How To Find Your Confidence

Step Two: Manage your expectations.

This is a big one. Sometimes people build something up SO MUCH in their minds that when the real deal happens, they’re disappointed. That can cause someone’s confidence to take a huge plummet. Set goals, but be reasonable with your expectations. My husband likes to say be “cautiously optimistic”. I love that phrase. 

How To Find Your Confidence

Step Three: Realize that you are not everyone’s cup of tea.

I know several people (and you might be one of them) that are “people-pleasers”. This can be great when you are in charge of committees and being there for your friends, but it can be detrimental on your self-worth. You can’t fill someone’s cup when you are empty yourself. Take a deep breath and decide what YOU want and realize that it is OKAY if it isn’t what everyone else wants. Get comfortable with the fact that not everyone will like you. 

Step Four: Dress for success.

This is the deal. When you dress better, you feel better. It’s a scientific fact. So if you are struggling with your confidence, try to examine where it might be coming from! If you are dressing down every day, try to dress up and see how you feel. It may be a classic case of boring clothes that have you down. 

How To Find Your Confidence

Step Five: Take a social media hiatus.

Now — I know I’m one to talk (aka I literally make a living off of being on social media). BUT. Sometimes you really, really need to take a break. Stop comparing yourself to the girls on Instagram with perfect smiles and Onstagram worthy donuts. It’s okay if life doesn’t look like that all the time. Sometimes it’s just life. 

I hope this helps you pretty ladies, if you are struggling with your confidence. Put your best foot forward, take this 20 day self-love challenge, and remember you are AWESOME. 

How To Find Your Confidence

Now a little something EXTRA for all of my readers who are also bloggers (the link below is an affiliate link but my testimony is MORE than real. I’d promote it even if I didn’t have an affiliate link). I’m REALLY excited to promote an e-course that is going to change your life. Back in December, I was loving blogging but I wasn’t making a living off of it. I wanted to be a full-time blogger so badly. So, I jumped at the chance to take Erica’s BossPitch course. I learned how to pitch, how to negotiate, how to charge what I’m worth. This course was invaluable to me as an influencer. If you are at the same place I was, wanting to work for yourself, wanting to take it into your OWN hands, quit your 9-5 (like I did)…..take the plunge. I PROMISE you it is worth it.



About The Author

Taylor Mobley


  1. susie liberatore | 26th May 17

    This is SO perfect. I love all of these ideas I need to do more of them for sure

    • Taylor Mobley | 26th May 17

      Everyone does! It’s part of staying sane! LOL 🙂

  2. Nicola @ Happy Healthy Motivated | 26th May 17

    I’m terrible at maintaining a self-care routine! I always end up over-working and then seriously stressing. I’m going to print your list off right now to remind myself to take care of me!

    • Taylor Mobley | 26th May 17

      YAY! I’m so glad!! I hope it helps and that you feel better when you’re done!! 😀

  3. Jessica | 26th May 17

    I find that dressing for success is something that really helps me build confidence at work. When I am dressed the part, I act the part more!
    xo Jessica

  4. Erica @ Coming up Roses | 26th May 17

    Lovelovelove all of the above, AND the BP shoutout – you’re a queen, T!

    Coming Up Roses

  5. Chelsea | 26th May 17

    You are seriously gorgeous and your makeup looks flawless!!

  6. Kristin | 26th May 17

    I pinned your list — such good ideas! And I love that organizing and cleaning top to bottom are on the list.

  7. Sarah | texasweettea | 26th May 17

    I love this!! I think self love is something that every one struggles with, especially women. It’s so important to learn how to feel confident in your own skin!!

    xo, Sarah |

  8. Dominique | 26th May 17

    What a great post! I love that quote: “You can’t fill someone else’s cup when you’re empty yourself.” Amazing.

  9. Tanvi Rastogi | 26th May 17

    This is such a good plan! Self Care is a must.


  10. Elizabeth Johnson | 26th May 17

    This is so what I needed today! You are spot on when you say schedule “me time”. If I don’t schedule it, it won’t happen. I love each activity you have on the list too. Great ideas!

  11. Iliana | 26th May 17

    You have no idea how much I enjoyed this post! I totally need to start scheduleding “me time”

    I also totally agree with not being able to fill some else cup when one’s is empty! Thank you for this 🙂

    Iliana |

  12. Carly @caffeinatedcarly | 26th May 17

    I am such a people pleaser, it’s crazy. I have found that always being that way brings me down and it is something I am working on!! Love the challenge! I will be doing it because it is just what I need right now!

  13. Bria | Tendril Wild Blog | 26th May 17


    I think managing your expectations and taking a break from social media are two of the biggest keys to boosting your self confidence. It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves and think we should be further along on our self love journey than we currently are – comparing ourselves to others on social media only makes it worse!

    I love that you’re doing a self love challenge – we need more of these! 🙂

    The Blogging Tool I Used to Double My Subscribers

  14. ShootingStarsMag | 26th May 17

    Love this! I wish more women said they were confident, but I know it’s not something I tend to think about in regards to myself either. I do know that wearing clothes I’m comfortable in DOES make me feel more confident though.

  15. Kristen | 26th May 17

    I love that you’re starting a challenge for self-love! It is so important 🙂 these are all such great tips to boost self confidence! I love the tip about taking a break from social media, sometimes we just need a break and really spend some time on ourselves <3

    Kristen |

  16. Stephanie | 26th May 17

    This is an excellent, encouraging post! I really needed it today after feeling some serious lows in my emotions and health! Thank you for sharing your tips (and I pinned that challenge to try it out)! You inspire me to be more confident just after reading this!

  17. Robin | 26th May 17

    First – you look absolutely gorgeous in your photos. Second – “fake it till you make it” is a cliche because it’s TRUE. It’s like how smiling literally tricks your brain into thinking that you’re happy. Sometimes, the outward behavior comes before the inward mindset, and that’s okay! In fact, it’s normal.

  18. Rachel Ritlop | 27th May 17

    I am not every ones cup of tea for sure! Realizing that was a major key to finding my confidence

  19. Debby | 27th May 17

    This is a fantastic post! I have shared with my two millennial daughters. I love the comment that you are not everyone’s cup of tea. This is critical. It is not your fault, they don’t like who you ares. Move on. Thanks for sharing.

  20. Amanda Rinehart | 27th May 17

    Love this post! It’s so easy to forget to care for ourselves.

  21. Thomas Falkenstedt | 28th May 17

    Oh dear, I needed to read this so bad. I’m not struggling as much with my confidence than I am with self love. I know the two are intertwined, but it’s the latter I’m struggling more with. I’ve actually bookmarked this page as I know I can’t begin my 20 days now, but as soon as I’m back from FW season I’ll put this into action. Thank you for a MUCH needed read and reminder to love myself and how to do it.

  22. Anna Baun | 29th May 17

    Such a great post, girl! I love these tips and the 20 day challenge! I’ll start tomorrow 🙂 XO

    Anna ||

  23. Lauren | 29th May 17

    This checklist is SO perfect! I love how you cover different aspects like self care and then the work aspects. Also loving your outfit girl!


    Lauren //

  24. Mistle | 30th May 17

    Practicing self care/self love is so needed!!! There are times when I do not practice either of these and it really shows. When I practice these my confidence has improved so much. Loved this post!!

  25. Chelsie | 31st May 17

    You are the cutest – I adore you – and I love your challenge! I definitely could benefit from scheduling in


  26. Lauren | Glitter & Grandeur | 13th Jul 17

    Love this! Being confident is so important! I feel I have found my confidence in about 80% of my life but am still struggling on the work, blog, and love parts. I’ll get there! I can’t wait to implement these tips!

  27. 10 Amazing Self-Care Charts You Need to See | 10th Aug 17

    […] Credit: Blonde and Ambitious […]

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