Happy FRI-YAY! It’s a weekend for mothers, so I am going to be bragging on mine a little bit because I’m not a mom myself! First things first – I honestly have the best mom. She is flawless in every way. Not only is she gorgeous (thank goodness for good genes, amiright?), but she’s kind and sweet and smart. She has ALWAYS been a rock for me growing up, gave me room to make mistakes while guiding me to the right decisions. I will be incredibly lucky if I am half the mom she is one day when Adam and I decide to have children. I decided in light of Mother’s Day – I am going to share the top 10 lessons I’ve learned from my mom over the last 23 years. Let’s dive into this.
We like to laugh that 50% of our childhood memories involve this movie in some way. Half of our inside jokes and funny moments revolve around Princess Bride. FIRST OFF: if you have not watched this movie before, what the heck are you doing with your life? And also GO WATCH IT IMMEDIATELY. I say “Life’s not fair, Highness” or “AAAAASSSSS YOOUUUU WISSHHHHHHHHH” both at least once a day. At least. My mom taught me to hold on to the things that make you laugh and quality cinema never goes out of style.
This bugs me to no end because I want EVERYONE TO LOVE ME. That’s probably one of the reasons that this is my job. I won’t lie – I love validation from a lot of people. Who doesn’t? But unfortunately, not everyone likes me (crazy, I know). For one reason or another, I am not everyone’s cup of tea. My mom isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. My best friend isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. There are people I don’t like, too. And THAT IS OK. As Charity Barnum said so aptly in The Greatest Showman, “You don’t need everyone to love you, Phin. Just a few good ones”. I also repeat this quote on the daily to myself. It’s SO TRUE.
This means you treat the housekeeper but as nicely as you would treat a CEO. It doesn’t matter what their “status” is in life – all humans deserve to be treated with kindness. I’ve carried this with me a lot and it’s served me well. People remember when you are nice to them and it will make your life easier, too. You don’t have to make enemies wherever you go.
This is a big one. Life is going to throw a million things at you and your relationship with your spouse. Be it distance because of a job, other people, children, etc. It is up to you to make your husband/wife a priority and to make sure that the both of you are making time for each other.
This is big one, too. You always hear “never make decisions when you’re angry” but it’s often forgotten that you shouldn’t make big decisions when you are blissfully happy, too. All major emotional swings will come back to the middle eventually and you will be stuck with your choice one way for the other. Take time to let yourself really evaluate a situation and then move forward with your choice.
I ignored her for a long time on this one. I never wore sunscreen (sorry mom) when I went the beach or the pool and just assumed “my burn fades into a tan so it’s fine” ignoring the fact that not only was a increasing my risk for skin cancer, but I was also speeding along wrinkles and sun spots and who the heck wants that? She’s always taught me to look for SPF in my skincare ingredients and to make sure that I apply it on my face every day – even in the winter.
I say this one a lot, too. It’s just as true now as it was when I was a kid. Use nice methods rather than nasty ones to get what you want out of life. People are much more willing to help you if you are kind to them. This goes for customer service reps, especially. Yelling at someone to get your way is more likely to result in a failure than being overly kind and understanding.
A long time ago, after my first heartbreak, I asked my mom “when does life get easier?”. And she answered, “it doesn’t. It just changes to different challenges”. This did not make me feel any better at the time, but it has turned out to be true and has changed the way I look at situations. Life will ALWAYS give you something to battle, but that means you have an opportunity to grow and learn and be valiant in overcoming your struggles.
I am very much an extroverted introvert. There are many times in life when I am tired from entertaining people and need to be by myself with my cats. I have a hard time saying no to people who want to hang out with me, so long ago my mom told me that I could ALWAYS use her as an excuse if I needed to get out of something. And boy did I. I can’t remember how many times I bailed on plans because “my mom said I couldn’t go” or in college, “sorry, I have to FaceTime my family tonight!” or now as an adult, “We already made plans to eat dinner with my parents”. #whoops Thanks for letting me use you as my scapegoat, mama!
Even when she struggled with this one herself, she preached this to me. And it’s true. Never compare yourself to others. All that will do is bring you down. You need to be focusing on yourself and your own goals without letting someone else stand in your sunshine.
PIN THIS FOR LATER:
THANK YOU MAMA for raising me to be a strong, smart and capable woman. One day, if I have daughters of my own, I hope to be half the mom you are to me and Carolyn. We are so lucky and blessed to have you as our mom.
What lessons have you learned from your mom? Let me know your best lessons in the comments below!